Studded with rich and tangy pastor that bit right back at us, and jammed with the sort of intangible niceties you expect from a top-tier taqueria, this somewhat undergirthed foodscud still had enough mustache-arrows in its quiver to hit our judges panel’s 8.50-mustache target. The show began with a quietly grilled tortilla ever so slightly victimized by saucy soak-through in spots, before revealing respectably melted grates of Jack cheese and truly dominant pork that was smartly sauced in all the right places. Despite marginalizing much of the veggie content other than the avocado slices, the ingredient mix was tops, and the more bites we took, the clearer it became that the pork’s sauce had upstaged the pork itelf. The refried beans and Spanish rice each did their work efficiently; spice boomed regularly. And in a weird turn, there was this one part of the tortilla that kept flapping open, mid burrito, like some floury door to the sauce-slathered world within.

Our first hall of fame-worthy slab in ten months was worth the wait. Illimitable intangibility cast its spell over every bite of this nicely sized, expertly constructed lunch — so much so that we considered ordering a second one on our way out the door. Toasty as a June afternoon down in Tucson, our foiled meal featured the most elegant mix possibly ever spotted at any Bayview taqueria, with no ingredient getting rudely shoved out of the way; even the rice (the one element usually most prone to space-hogging) knew when to say when. We seemed to strike it rich with sauced-to-the-nines hunks of grilled chicken in most every bite, and we’d be remiss to not give a spirited shout-out to La Laguna’s uncommonly delicious, deliciously gloopy refried beans. Our sole gripe, and it’s a mild one, goes out to the grates of Jack cheese, which could have seen a more complete melting — strange, considering this burrito’s temperature index. Exceptional guacamole and plenty of onion successfully pitched for a nine-mustache vegetable rating. And whomever grilled the tortilla back in the kitchen had their game face on and deserves one hell of a raise.

While it didn’t operate at the same high-flying level its breakfast burrito predecessor had five months prior, this foiled effort still found the crucial eight-mustache knack. Granted, it should have been saucier, and the bean-seep of burstage was totally uncalled for...but between the sharply grilled tortilla and enough melted cheese to make the whole of Wisconsin sport a state-wide grin, the swishes outshined the shrugs on a sunny weekend afternoon in the Bayview. The mix left the impressive rice out of the party more than it should have, but it brought everything else together harmoniously enough. Meat report: Plenty of shreddy carnitas on hand, and what its edges lacked in crispy grill-lacquer was countered with politely salted deliciousness. Spice contributed enough pepper-fire to warrant a respectable score, and while we could have gone for a more heaping helping of pico de gallo, the rest of the veggie gang held up its end, all the way down to subtle flecks of crushed red pepper. The whole package was piping hot from the top down, and sized to please. Then we took a nap.

With a scoresheet boasting a bountiful share of eights and nines, La Laguna’s breakfast burrito was an impressive salvo of hot bites, award-worthy refried beans, and flammable salsa roja, all swathed in a wonderfully flaky tortilla. Add to all that an egg/bacon scramble that, had it been produced in 1959, would have surely been described by someone wearing a cardigan sweater as “keen,” and what we had on/in hand was a 17-bite tour de force. The one strike against this foiled meal was the ingredient mix that divided more than it joined. But even the fact that the killer beans only appeared on one side didn’t get our panel’s collective dauber down too much. The mediocre mix adversely affected spice distribtion as well, but when the heat was on, it was no joke at all. Bacon grease was a minor aberration to the sauciness rating, and the cheese, while a good contributor, could have been even better. But all that stuff we hinted at in the first sentence, along with an excellent, guac-splattered veggie ensemble, helped make this a high- (if not top-) shelf AM slab. Onions!

Carnivores, remember the following equation: Exceptional burrito fundamentals + virtually tasteless meat = effective, yet unmemorable slabwork. That in mind, La Laguna Taq.’s first appearance on the Burritoeater radar would have made for an excellent vegetarian burrito; problem was, this burrito’s machaca meat came up far too blah, start to finish. We’ll never crucify any burrito that’s all-hot, smartly built, and full of both melted cheese and an intriguing vegetable contingent. But when the centerpiece is this dull, the intangibility rating can’t help but suffer some. Other than how it ignored the cordoned-off guacamole, which sported an unusual forest-green hue and appeared to be nothing more than smashed-up avocado, the ingredient mix was impressively all-inclusive. We could have done with more rice, but that’s a minor quibble and we know it. The machaca’s run-in with the flavor removal machine? That’s much more troublesome.