the Intestinal Apocalypse Monthly Apparel Bazaar

Golden State Market ExcelsiorOMR: 6.75
298 Munich
cross street: Brazil
ph. 415/585-1862
Map Visits: 1
Walk into this dimly lit corner market and head to the back counter for a real smorgasbord of hot options: burgers, bagels, curly fries, corn dogs, and of course, the usual array of Mexican items. Among all that, we’ve only experienced the shoddy burritos. Breakfast and bottled beer available. Credit cards accepted.

Will My Health Be Violated?

10/26/08Super Pollo Asado$6.506.75 Mustaches
Swish: temperature (10); spiciness (9); burstage abatement (9); size (8)
Shrug: tortilla (7); cheese (7); sauciness (7); ingredient mix (6)
Clang: meat (5); rice (5); beans (4); vegetables (4)
Intangibility bonus: 0 (of 2)

Zero mustaches for intangibility? Really? Such a feat takes some doing in this advanced day and age, but Golden State Market’s taqueria gymnasts nailed the sucktacular dismount off our mustachioed pommel horse with flair and aplomb. Shortcomings? There were many: virtually flavor-free chicken that was in dire need of some sort of marinade or seasoning; equally tasteless Spanish rice that, depending on the bite, simulated the texture of either driftwood or porridge; diced onion and tomato that tasted awkwardly pickled; and, some old-looking/tasting refried beans that may or may not have been cooked around the time fire was discovered. Positive commentary interlude: Flecks of red pepper amidst the salsa roja jacked up the overall spice level, while construction-related complaints were minimal and every bite was a hot bite. But three or four avocado slices can only mollify our panel so much. Clang.