cross street: Ashton/Victoria
Map Visits: 4
Shrug: tortilla (7); meat (7); beans (6); sauciness (6); burstage abatement (6)
Clang: no elements clanged
Intangibility bonus: 2 (of 2)
Just like the baseball team that can’t ever quite manage a winning season, Ocean Taq. seems unable to capitalize on its best chances for mustachioed success. Mister Slabmaker Fella grilled up a fresh batch of carne asada for our persnickety panel, even draping over it a bunch of green bell pepper and white onion slices as it cooked. Result: shrugalicious beef fajitas, although we appreciated the heavy onion involvement. Elsewhere in this burrito’s veggie profile, our failure to specify no lettuce doomed us to — no way, really? — a bit of lettuce to contend with; we dealt. The ingredient mix had many things going for it, but the refried beans and good-looking guacamole got a little buried somewhere along the way, and spiciness was less than consistent throughout. Most troubling was the messiness that only increased the deeper we drilled — sauce drips, piles of lousy taqueria napkins, the works. Still, every bite was as hot as the one that preceded, and all that melted cheese sure offered a great look (and taste). But not even two-mustache intangibility could send this slab over the eight-mustache rainbow.
Shrug: spiciness (7); temperature (7); meat (6); vegetables (6)
Clang: size (5); rice (5); sauciness (5); ingredient mix (5)
Intangibility bonus: 1 (of 2)
With a magnificently grilled tortilla and scads of sliced jack melted all over its interior, this tightly constructed burrito had a few elements working in its favor. Sadly, we found a number of other working parts to be virtually irredeemable, and a quick glance at the OMR above plainly reveals that the good guys got their asses handed to them this time. Dreadfully mixed and sized to sate the appetite of a baby gerbil, this short ‘n’ trim slabette left us a bit hungry and a lot baffled. How come the rice was so buttery? What was with the handful of lukewarm bites and the carnitas’ noticeably pink insides? And considering all this, why the hell was the line out the door? This burrito wasn’t worth more than the 131 words we’ve already given over to it, and it wasn’t worth $6.50, either.